dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
