Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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