Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
