she was so not down for the gang bang
you would pick up someone in the library
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
