So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
