I must be too annoying 4 u.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
