Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
