I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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