Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
