Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Terrible idea I love it
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
