Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
