I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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