We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
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Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
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Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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