You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
