eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
