I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
