Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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