I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
