We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
