so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
