i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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