If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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