I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
