I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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