Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
