I didn't shave. On purpose
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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