Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
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I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
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I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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