That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
