I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
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It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
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So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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