you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
