they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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