no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
