I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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