So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
