you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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