Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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