OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
