I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
