Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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