Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize