You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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