I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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