I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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