Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Bring me that man meat
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
