I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
