Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
