I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
