I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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