I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
