I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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