i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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