had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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