Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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