I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
