I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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